with or without you

Today I was walking around Pentagon City Mall, collecting some delights for Saturday's party, when I heard tidbits of possibly one of the most epic songs ever known to man.  I couldn't bask in all its glory at that moment - my hearing was impaired by those visiting middle school kids and their relentless sexting - however once in my car, I promptly threw in my Joshua Tree CD and played track three ... on repeat.

I'll admit it - I'm not the biggest U2 fan.  In fact, I really don't get the hype.  The truth of the matter is that I bought their CD in high school to impress the opposite sex; my male cohorts at the time loved Bono and his creepy sunglasses. With my Hanson albums carving a scarlet mmmbop into my chest, I was basically forced onto a street with no name.  For months, The Joshua Tree gathered dust in my little black Case Logic ... until a cold day in August 1999.

Actually, the day wasn't cold at all - it started out like any summer day in Mandeville; me and my friends swimming in my pool, ripening our tans and demanding that my dad make us pina coladas (without the alcohol - see Prom After-Party Invite for details).  All was well until I was made aware that my boyfriend had decided that he was going to dump me upon returning from soccer camp.

Dumped?  What?  But that ruined all our (my) plans!  What about our group date to see Blair Witch?  What about homecoming?  I mean we had gone to school together since we were four years old ... and how many couples were birthed by the same doctor ... who was he to mess with fate?  Oh AND we had a fish together.  Men can be so selfish.

This was my 16 year old girl logic.  Bless. My. Heart.
It should be noted that the fish jumped to its death a few weeks later.     

After the shock of news set in, I decided that I'd beat him to the punch.  I left him a sassy little message ... I had decided that we needed to talk.  The next morning we met on the lakefront, said our goodbyes and then made plans to meet up with our incestuous group of friends that night.

Seeing as this was my first relationship, it never crossed my mind that it would eventually end (see Plans section above).  Without a real life reference point, I did what any pure blooded American would do - turned on the TV.  My misery needed company and I found that in ... Ross and Rachel.

You remember when they broke up.  It's nighttime ... rainy ... lots of forelorn looks from New York windowsills.  But what you really remember is With or Without You playing in the background, burning a We-Were-On-A-Break sized hole into your heart.  Needless to say, I found my 10th grade break-up anthem.

So when I heard this song today, it made me laugh.  I think sometimes, we love to be heartbroken.  In small doses, that raw emotion is refreshing.  I'd bet good money that most of us secretly enjoy amplifying those feelings with a great song like this one, obviously played on repeat.  I love that 16 year old version of me because I know, much like Ross and Rachel, everything turns out just fine.

Spoiler Alert:  Taylor and I never got back together.